We all have an inner dialogue, and for many of us, it’s continually spewing negative thoughts. Your inner dialogue wants you to find the issues and problems in everything. Our brains have a negativity bias. For thousands of years, humans have been scanning the world for danger, and it’s wired into us as human beings.
What we focus on and the questions we ask casts a spotlight. This spotlight sets our mindset and determines how we see the world. Remember when you bought your first car, and then you began to see others like-it—the same make, model, and color everywhere? It’s like they magically appeared. But they didn’t. They were always there; you merely weren’t casting your spotlight in that direction until you had one, and then you began to see them.
Have you ever met a negaholic and thought to yourself I wish I were more like them?
It’s much easier than you might think.
Here are some surefire ways to jump-start your negaholic journey. World-class negaholics adopt all seven of these habits, but if you can make just one of them a habit, you will be well on your way to being a negaholic.
The What’s Going Well mindset movement needs you. Look around, and you must admit the world needs positivity right now. The What’s Going Well mindset is not one of those movements or ideas where you’ll want to sit on the sidelines. If you do, the “Negaholics” will win—in your communities and workplaces.
Since we only have the capacity to focus on a fraction of what we encounter, our brains are constantly filtering what gets our attention. In this filtering process, our brains are easily distracted because we are wired to pay attention to any new stimulus, especially if we perceive it to be a threat to our survival. This filtering causes us to have what psychologists call a negativity bias.
Humanity on the whole has never been better off than we are now. The world is safer, we live longer, we are healthier, and many people are wealthier.
But as humans, our brains are naturally wired to cynicism. We’re more likely to focus on the negatives of a situation and not even notice the positives.
Changing our focus to What’s Going Well and rejecting negativity isn’t just about making us happier (though that’s a nice side-effect, too!). When we practice it regularly, it extends far beyond day-to-day joy and becomes a part of who we are. Eventually, we don’t have to work to practice it anymore. It comes to us naturally.
Imagine trying to water your bamboo with a bucket that has holes in it or one that has no bottom. A leaky bucket is one that lets in negativity, worry, doubt and gossip—all of which are drains on your enthusiasm and energy. Bamboo farmers must keep their buckets full of fresh water, and to do that you must fix your leaks!
Being a leader requires emotional energy. There are lots of demands on your time and energy. I was recently leading a seminar with a group of upcoming leaders and I was asked, "How can I stay positive in such a demanding world as a leader with the complexity of all my roles?" I responded that it’s up to you to fill your punch bowl. Every day I think about what activities I will engage in that will fill my punch bowl.
