Award-winning author and Marketing Strategist Cathey Armillas on Speaking with Passion and Heart and Leaning into What Makes You Unique

Cathey Armillas is a marketing strategist, presentation coach, author of The Unbreakable Rules of Marketing, and the How to ROCK a Ted Talk program, and in this episode, she joins Greg Bell for a tell-all discussion about Cathey’s career growth, why she leans into her uniqueness and encourages other to do the same, and shares speaking tips for listeners.

Don’t miss this incredible conversation with Cathey Armillas.

Episode Highlights:

  • 00:56 - Cathey’s Water the Bamboo story

  • 03:59 - Cathey’s surprise call from the David Letterman Show

  • 05:29 - How Cathey navigated her career early on being a young woman in a male-dominated industry

  • 07:59 - How Cathey began coaching Tedx speakers

  • 10:21 - Cathey’s Bamboo Circle

  • 14:20 - Mistakes made and lessons learned

  • 17:27 - Speaking tips from Cathey

  • 21:54 - “Bringing down the wall” in presentations

  • 24:49 - Typical day and week for Cathey

  • 27:48 - Where Cathey gets her energy

  • 30:20 - What Cathy’s brother-in-law said to her when she started her business

  • 33:09 - Advice Cathey would give herself at the age of 19

  • 35:53 - What distractions came up for Cathey as she progressed in her career

  • 39:27 - What makes Cathey unique

  • 42:37 - Embracing what makes you different

  • 46:31 - What’s Going Well for Cathey

Guest at a Glance

Cathey Armillas is a Marketing Strategist and the author of the award-winning book, The Unbreakable Rules of Marketing: 9 ½ Ways to Get People to Love You (www.unbreakablerules.com). Whether in the boardroom or on stage, people love Cathey’s enthusiasm, passion and directness. She has been notorious for creating wildly successful marketing strategies.

As a speaker, Cathey teaches people the Unbreakable Rules of Marketing so they can use them in their efforts to get people to love them, and love what they do. Her Unbreakable Rules has helped reach millions of people and quadrupled her clients’ sales. In one example, she created a viral marketing campaign for a client by shredding items such as soccer balls, torpedoes, even a Volkswagen, and posting videos of them online. It landed the client on the David Letterman Show, CNN, CNBC, and the Discovery Channel.

Cathey shows her authenticity and heart as a TEDx speaker, TEDx speaking coach and organizer. Cathey knows speaking from an organizer’s standpoint from her experience volunteering behind the scenes at TEDxPortland. Portland hosts the one of the world’s largest TEDx event in the world with an attendance of over 3,000 people. Secondly, Cathey has coached many to rock their TED Talk from young rising star celebrities to WWII War heroes. She has also been invited to deliver her own TEDx Talk. Though thriving as a guru in marketing, her TEDx Talk is titled: “Share your life”. Cathey opened up and showed her vulnerable side as she shared her personal struggle for happiness and where she finally found it.

When companies need to reach people in unique ways, they call on Cathey Armillas. Her clients range from big brand companies like Intel, Nike and Xerox; to mid-sized companies like Color Dimensions, OBS, Tripwire and SSI Shredders; to cities, agencies and creative organizations like Viacom and Ogilvy.

Notable Quotes

  • “I think if you're a young woman, Or if you're a young man or if you're anybody and you have something in you and you really feel like it's going to work, I feel like you just have to voice your opinion.”

  • “If you have something to sell to the world, sell it from the bottom of your heart and people will usually buy it.”

  • “A Ted Talk is a mini-marketing campaign for an idea.”

  • “I think anybody that reaches out to get help from other people is already heading the right direction.”

  • “There are speakers sometimes even if they're talking about a story that's from their life, you can tell, they're just like, Oh, I've told this story a hundred times, I'm being a news reporter right now. I'm not reliving this story; I'm just retelling the story. And so I try to get people in that moment where they're reliving that.”

  • “Are you either going to strive to get better or are you going to allow yourself to get worse?”

  • “What makes you, you? Go a hundred percent into that. Run hard into that. Be you.”

  • “I think it takes a bold, brave move to just be able to look yourself in the mirror and just say, I love you. I love you for who you are.”

Transcript

Greg: [00:00:00] Thank you for listening for another episode of the Water the Bamboo podcast, I'm Greg Bell, and I'm excited to get straight to our next guest. But before we do, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you don't miss any of the amazing guests that we have coming up. 

[00:00:31] So what can I say about Cathey Armillas?

[00:00:33] She is a marketing guru, a TEDx speaker, and has written a few books. One of them, the Unbreakable Rules of Marketing, and it's helped tons of companies, like Nike and Intel and Viacom. And so many more. 

[00:00:46] She's a good friend and is so great to talk to you, but welcome to bamboo nation. Great to see you, Cathey. 

[00:00:52] Cathey: [00:00:52] Great to see you. What's up, Greg?

[00:00:56] Greg: [00:00:56] So glad you're here. I was just like really wanted to have you on for a couple reasons. And one of the thoughts I had, I want you to talk about is what was your sort of Water the Bamboo story in a way? You have been traveling the world, teaching lots of speakers and presentations and marketing with different companies. But tell us your sort of origin story, let us know, like, how did you get going in this? 

[00:01:21] Cathey: [00:01:21] Yeah. So there's always a Water the Bamboo story. I love that, Greg. It's it is true. Like I think sometimes in a moment you go, Oh, I'm here, and sometimes you get so caught up in things you don't like, take a look back and go I watered the bamboo this entire time and now here I am. So if I go way back, I was working for a company a long time ago. It was a Korean company, and my boss was the brother of the guy in the company in Korea, and they owned a company that made glass beveling machinery, like the little bevels that go on glass.

[00:01:56] And I was at 20 something year old, single mom at the time. And this job for me was a big deal. I got asked to fly to Germany for a trade show and I show up and I'm just overwhelmed, Greg. There's there's machinery everywhere. And like salespeople, all this stuff. And in this huge convention, like the largest in the world for the glass industry.

[00:02:18] And I see our booth and I walk up and it says, In really big letters across the banner. So easy even a woman can do it. 

[00:02:27] Greg: [00:02:27] Oh, no, 

[00:02:29] Cathey: [00:02:29] I was like, here I am, I'm like the youngest person on the team. I'm like the newbie. I'm like the American, I'm all the things that, that I think, I feel like are going against me.

[00:02:42] And I was like, Oh, I can't, there's something in my soul that made me have to say something. So I went to my boss and I said, I get the gist of this marketing campaign. This is a very male dominated, industry, but I don't think it's going to fly. Do you see all these CEOs with their wives? I don't think they're going to appreciate that.

[00:03:02] So it was my first little kick in the butt lesson on Like how to really take a marketing message and bring it to the world in a way that is thinking about everybody. Now I call it like having an idea and making it go wide. Don't point your ideas just to a certain small segmented group.

[00:03:18] So that was my start. Because I was in heavy machinery, my next gig in my early thirties was I worked at a industrial shredder manufacturer. So like shredders that shred cars and boats and computers and anything big that needs to be little. And I had this grandiose idea when I first started working there.

[00:03:40]I'm watching like torpedoes being shred. I'm watching these videos of things that were shredding for our clients. And I was like, maybe we should put this on the internet. And the CEO at the time was like, the internet? Like, why would anybody want to watch this? And how many people can afford to half a million dollar shredder?

[00:03:59] So I ended up talking him into it and we ended up launching this site called "watch it shred." And it just, it went crazy. And like overnight, some blogger found out about it, wrote about it, and the David Letterman Show called me, 

[00:04:12] Greg: [00:04:12] Oh, my word. 

[00:04:14] Cathey: [00:04:14] And I actually hung up on them because I didn't actually believe it was the David Letterman Show.

[00:04:19] It was like, hey this is Mike from the David Letterman Show. And I'm like, Oh, awesome, good. Like I hung up on him. Then he wrote me an email and I was like, Oh my gosh, he's from the David Letterman Show. 

[00:04:27] So we launched this campaign like right before YouTube came out. And then after YouTube came out, we ended up putting these shreds of a shredding a bunch of things, and our campaigns just went super viral. It was one of those crazy moments where you're like a really good idea executed just grew in popularity. Lots of people were watching the videos that had nothing to do with the recycling or shredding industry. But what it really proved is when you put that much focus on something, when it's becomes more wide, like the ideas wide, our company went from being a $17 million company to 18 months later, $42 million at the end of our next fiscal year, $42 million. So that was where the marketing background came in. And then, our good friend, John Waller was the first person that I actually coached to give a Ted Talk.

[00:05:16]That's where my two worlds collided. I was like, I don't, I'm not, I speak, but I'm not really a coach, but maybe I could help.  And then here I am. So that was my, those were all the areas I think where I Watered the Bamboo and ended up here. 

[00:05:29] Greg: [00:05:29] Can you dig in a little bit more? I'm just so curious about this. Here you are a young woman in a male dominated industry, in both those industries. Talk a little bit about the courage it took to go to your boss. I think a lot of our audience are young women and a lot of women in general, in a male dominated industry, having the courage to sorta to navigate that. How would you suggest to them to meet those challenges? That's a leadership play at a young age and like where did you get that? That's pretty amazing. 

[00:05:58]Cathey: [00:05:58] First of all, I was scared to death of the CEO. He was scary. The first day I started at the shredding company, I was sitting in a row of cubicles. It was like four of us. And one of the ladies was in charge of our accounting and she looked at me and she was like, hi, I'm Connie and I just want you to know that Tom, he's the CEO, hates marketing people, just so you know, and I was like, Oh, awesome. So here I am, I just got hired to be like, I'm the, I'm not only the marketing person, I'm the marketing department. And I just found out that this CEO hates marketing, which I can understand a lot of people view marketing as an expense, not as an investment, like it should be. So I'm just like, Oh God, I don't know. Greg, I think the best way to explain it is I think if you're a young woman, Or if you're a young man or if you're anybody and you have something in you and you really feel like it's going to work, I feel like you just have to voice your opinion.

[00:06:56] And even if you get shot down, you just, at some point you have to do it. One thing I have to say about Tom so much credit to him, he was a kind of person, and I didn't realize this till later, but he was the kind of person, if you came in and you sold him on anything, he'd buy it. So he just wants you to sell it.

[00:07:11] So I think that's a big, it's a big lesson that I didn't realize I was learning. If you have something to sell to the world, sell it from the bottom of your heart and people will usually buy it. Now, if you come in half-assy and people aren't gonna buy it. So I went to him and I just said, Hey, you know, I have this idea. And then I sold it on the weird, the angle. You always find the angle. I found this angle of I'm like we're sending out all of these videos all the time to people to show them what our machines can do, wouldn't it be cool if we just had it on a website? So that was my in, that's how it happened.

[00:07:42]Greg: [00:07:42] That's really great. I really appreciate that. There's some subtleties there about that was one of the purposes, of having you on, is about presentation. You have to be able to influence, and there's two things I think are important to be able to write and be able to present. If you can do those as a leader or as an individual, those can help people. Now, where did you get that your presentation sort of Moxie, if you will, I've actually witnessed you take okay talks to standing ovations on Ted. So I just like, where did you get that sort of angle to be able to help people present their ideas in such a powerful way? 

[00:08:17] Cathey: [00:08:17] Oh, my gosh, Greg. I'm a nerd. I know you can appreciate that. I'm such a nerd! Well, so first of all, let me back up just a little bit. When I first started coaching Ted speakers, I had to scratch my head for a second and I'm like, how did I get here? All credit to Dave Rae. After I coached John and Ben for TEDx Portland, he was like, Hey, can you be on the team? Can you do this? And you're good at this. And I'm like, I felt it was incestuous. I'm like, I'm a speaker. And now I'm trying to coach people on speaking. That's so weird. But when I came to grips with it, what I really did is I took a step back and I said , if you actually reverse engineer this, there's speaking and then there's marketing and all like a Ted Talk is for instance, is a mini marketing campaign for an idea.

[00:09:01] So that kind of resonated and made sense to me. And, I love coaching other people, by the way. I love to just look at who they are, what their strengths are, how they can break what I call the invisible wall between them and their audience and what is going to be their biggest way to break through, to make that like deep, genuine connection with the audience.

[00:09:23] So there's so many little things I look for, but it's always looking for the genuine, authentic idea and then presenting the genuine and authentic person and everybody's different, so it's different all the time. 

[00:09:34]Greg: [00:09:34] THat's super helpful to think about drilling down on what's really the story. I think Einstein's quote was, it was very interesting as this idea of the fish is the last to know about water.

[00:09:45] A lot of times people can't see their own genius. I've been asked to coach people, and I just refer them to you just cause I know you're very skilled at that. So that's really helpful...

[00:09:55] Cathey: [00:09:55] But, Greg, I have to give you props because when I was giving my first TEDx talk, I came to you. 

[00:10:00] Greg: [00:10:00] Oh, that's great.

[00:10:01] Cathey: [00:10:01] Because you're an amazing speaker. And I think that's one thing you have to look for. You have to really want, if you want to be a better presenter, you have to go to people, even if they don't, even if they're not a speaker coach, like I was smart enough to go to Greg Bell because I was like Greg's a phenomenal speaker. So I think anybody that reaches out to get help from other people is already heading the right direction.

[00:10:21]Greg: [00:10:21] When I talk about Water the Bamboo, one of the things I like to talk about is no one's alone. One of the things we need to break as this myth of a singular genius. So when I think about a bamboo, the Bamboo Grove, what's really important is its roots. So talk a little bit about your early Bamboo Circle. And when I talk about Bamboo Circle, the relationships you've had, you mentioned one already in Dave Rae, and me, in terms of who supported you and helped you grow.

[00:10:46] Talk a little bit about your core team and how you think about that concept of a bamboo circle in terms of relationships. 

[00:10:52]Cathey: [00:10:52] Yeah. I love that, Greg, because, if you think about anybody that's done anything, they've always had people close to them. And my first mentor,I've had so many mentors, my first mentor was an ex Navy military intelligence guy, and Oh my God. He was... in hindsight it's hilarious. He cussed at me, but in all love, but he was like, he had this one saying that I never forgot. He's like Cathey if you ever get onto a stage, I don't care if you're doing it for free, if you're getting paid five dollars or $5,000 or $500,000, whatever you do, don't suck. 

[00:11:31] And I was always, again, that whole thing of Oh my God, like he instilled this like, looking back, he gave me a little piece that was like one bamboo, so I have this one bamboo in my Grove of I take my work so serious. I think some people in the speaking world are really natural communicators and you have this temptation maybe to wing it and to rest on your laurels of Hey, I'm a good entertainer, I'm a speaker. 

[00:11:58] But honestly, if you're out there charging money, you have to take that seriously. And so he instilled that into me and there was a time when I had three coaches all at one time. Cause I wanted a coach for my finances. I really wanted somebody and he's definitely not the guy to talk to about creativity.

[00:12:14]So I'm like, I want to talk to somebody about finances and like, how should I run my actual business? And then I have people that are helping me with my own speaking and then I have people helping me with my business. So I had a business coach as well. So yeah,  and if I even look back further, I have to give all credit to my sister. My sister is my best friend. 

[00:12:33] When I first started my business over 10 years ago, I went through that normal thing that everybody does. I went through the, Oh my God, I got this big, huge gig. I got into like right out of the gate when I started my company and then I'm making all this money and then zero, like nothing, because I wasn't paying attention to what was on the horizon.

[00:12:53] And my sister, we have this story about us. I used to call her and sometimes I would be in tears. My sister lived in New York at the time and she always was at this one stop. It was a stop she took to go home, 52nd and Lexington. Anybody who lives in Manhattan knows it, knows exactly where it is. She said she would stand on that corner so many times just standing there holding the phone, couldn't go down, she couldn't go into the subway cause we would lose signal. I didn't know it. I'm on the phone,  I'm crying and I'm like, Oh my God, I should just go back and get a job. And she said something to me that I never forgot, and it's what's helped keep me going all these years. She said, Cathey, I don't care if you make $500 this year. She's like my sister works for the patent office. She's yeah, I have a good job, I make good money. And she's like, but I'm about to cap out. You could turn around tomorrow with your skills and you could make a million dollars. So keep going. And I loved that. So sometimes you just need the people that... and, crazy enough, I believed her. So I kept going. 

[00:13:56]Greg: [00:13:56] I think it's, so I love that story about calling, when you're in the dip like that to your sister or that, because I think a lot, I'm I go way back to my grandfather who told me that I was a great leader and I'm four years old.

[00:14:10]And so somebody that believes in you having them in your Bamboo Circle is just super important. Cause as you said, ups and downs will happen in business and life. 

[00:14:20] One question you're like, Down's, I can share some of mine, but I'd be really curious for you to like, think about like your quote unquote biggest mistake or situation where you had to dig your way out of, and there's really no mistakes, as you know, they are lessons. So talk about maybe the mistake and then talk about that a lesson you learned, if you would, that'd be very curious. 

[00:14:39] Cathey: [00:14:39] Yeah. Yeah. Lots of lessons to learn in the journey. And I think you're right. I think the person that takes the hit and keeps going is the one that understands that it's okay good, chalk it up to a good lesson. If you can't handle that, you can't handle being an entrepreneur because you're going to take so many hits. But one case that came to mind when you were talking, I got this really big gig within ad agency. And the person that I was working with was put in a leadership position that I don't think she was prepared for or ready for and so she was very self-conscious about it. And we entered into this kind of gig, and we had this verbal agreement, we had a great relationship and she was always like second guessing the program that I was going to put on. I was going to put on this big program, I was being, bringing in other speakers and other coaches and at some point she canceled and wanted to push it out a little further I think she was feeling really nervous about it. 

[00:15:42] We were dialed, like, she has no idea how we were going to go in and crush it with her team. And we had done that with other ad agencies that had done this exact work before, it was pitch work.

[00:15:53] So she canceled. And I realized at that moment that there was so much work that was done right up to then to just feel this deflation of I just don't trust you. I don't know. So she said can I, can we push it out further? And I just had an honest conversation with her and I ended up having to say, you know what, I can tell that you're feeling really nervous about this and you don't trust us for some reason. So why don't we just call it good? And she's Oh my God, I'm so sorry. And she offered to pay for the work that I had already done, which was a lot, by the way. And I just said, no, we're good we're straight. Let's just cancel the whole thing. And it felt like such a defeat at the time. And my heart was super broken. There was so much invested in it, but at the end of the day, I'm glad that I like cut the loss and went quickly because, I just don't think if somebody doesn't have full faith in you, how are you going to be presented to the team, and she's the leader, and so it just felt like we were walking into something really bad. 

[00:16:50] Greg: [00:16:50] Yeah those kinds of things, happen obviously, and the ability to cut your losses though, is that's a hard thing to do, especially like you say, you've already invested, I've been Watering this Bamboo and all of a sudden you've got to go move onto the next, so I could just imagine that would be challenging.

[00:17:06] And I've had plenty of situations like that myself, but one of the things I'd love you to visit just a little bit about you don't have to give all your secret sauces away. But just give us a few I've listened to this podcast and I'm, I have a presentation to give. Maybe it's not quite a Ted Talk, but I got to present to my sales team or whatever.

[00:17:27] Give us a few like nuggets, that can help me be better if you would. 

[00:17:31]Cathey: [00:17:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, and I'm happy to share this sauce, Greg, with you and your audience. You're such an amazing leader. I'm so glad that your grandfather told you that that is so cool. It's there's probably part like leadership ability that was already in you. And there was also this like great confidence from somebody believe in you. So I think that's awesome. 

[00:17:49] I always do things backwards than how other people do them. I believe the Dr. Steven Greenburns, and he'll always tell you, trust the process because he, by the time I had talked to Steven, he already had this whole speech written and he was heading this way and I'm like, Steven, I'm going to ask you to rip the whole thing up. And I mean, I first I'm sure he was like, what?

[00:18:12] But so I kind of do things backwards. I think people put way too much pressure, and I do believe that writing is a great skill, so this is not me circumventing writing, however, I think people get it confused and they sit down and they're like, Oh, I got this huge presentation, I got this thing I got to write, uh uh start with the end, go to the end and go, ultimately, how do I want to change the way the audience, whoever that audience is, whether it's one person, a boss, a coworker, anybody, how do I want to change the way my audience is going to think, act, or feel. Start there. And so I created this thing called an idea map and I can run through it just briefly. It's like the first thing you start with is your idea. What is your idea? What's the idea. And no matter what you're doing, you should think of it as an idea. So think of it as a Ted Talk, no matter what it is, if you're going to do a presentation at work, ultimately what's the big idea?

[00:19:10] The second thing is go to the end. Again, what do you want them to leave with? And people always think, I think the word call to action sometimes is misleading. It's not always an action. Sometimes you want to educate people. You strictly want to educate them. And so you just want to change the way they think.

[00:19:25] For motivational speakers, sometimes it's just to entertain. Awesome. Whatever it is, make sure you have that in mind, and then start with the opening, cause you create this, if you will, you create like a close line between your opening and your closing. If you already know where you're going to at the end, you have a great opening.

[00:19:41] And then the other two pieces on my idea map are. What's your supporting evidence, how are you going to support it? You're going to support it with stories, with humor, with social evidence, with psychology, with some very well-placed data with great stories wrapped around it because data can be boring by itself.

[00:19:59] And then the final thing, I always leave this one for last, because people just underestimate the power and the psychology of a catchphrase. Use a phrase it, you can tell Greg, right, you've I know you have lots of them and when you're there, people like you're speaking and people writing it down.

[00:20:14] Even if you didn't know that it was super catchy, you know when the audience is like, wow, you summed your whole idea up in this really catchy phrase. So if somebody can start there before they even like, and that could take five minutes, you could literally like map that out in five minutes, you're already like a hundred times more prepared than somebody that said, okay, crap I gotta write it I gotta write this presentation. Damn it. 

[00:20:47] Greg: [00:20:47] That is actually brilliant. I wish I had you coaching me before I did my Ted Talk. So that was really good stuff. That is, that actually is really remarkable. 

[00:20:58] In the book, Water the Bamboo, I start with values though. I start with that and then I go to vision, but it's interesting this idea of what you're talking about for me, it's have a vision for the presentation. If you don't have that vision, it's really difficult to pull it off and even visions in our businesses and like what we're trying to do and communicate that sort of tied in there.

[00:21:20]Cathey: [00:21:20] Yeah, and I can give you one presentation, tip too. It's a short one. A lot of people get worried that so many people, even, we know this from TEDx Portland. There's many people that stand on the stage they're like, Oh, I've spoke before. And then they're like, 3000 people. It's a different beast when you're talking about, Oh yeah, I can talk to a hundred people, 200, 500, and then, everybody has their level that really freaks them out, but I have this thing, I mentioned it before, there's an invisible wall, always between you and your audience, and you have to find the way to break it down.

[00:21:54] It's your job as the speaker to break it down. I think if you always look at your audience and you're like present and you're aware, they're going to give you all the answers, they're going to give you the answers. You just need to be there and sometimes you might be mid-sentence and go, you know what, this is obviously not working. I have to be able to know my stuff. I know where my ending is. I know where my opening is. I know it well enough that I can take it in another direction, but it's just about bringing the wall down, being present and to make that connection with the audience. 

[00:22:23] Greg: [00:22:23] That's super helpful because  you started that with, even this whole conversation about being authentic, finding the authentic part. And I know for me, audiences can tell whether you're being authentic or not. I've seen speakers where you're like, ah, you don't believe that yourself.  It's like trusting your material, but trusting that. 

[00:22:40] But this idea of bringing down the wall, you're touching on vulnerability there. When you think about presentation, how do you suggest people get a little more vulnerable? Particularly some of the talks I've seen you help people with, there is a lot of vulnerability on the stage, and how do you get them there though? 

[00:22:57] Cathey: [00:22:57] Yeah. Yeah. You already alluded to it. I think many times when people are doing great things or they're just living their life, doing their thing, everything is right here. They don't have the vision to see that what that their story is cool or good.

[00:23:16]Greg: [00:23:16] Right. 

[00:23:16] Cathey: [00:23:16] And I have the ability to look at them from a distance and go.

[00:23:20] Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Like Seeamara, we're talking about Seeamara's journey into the United States and when you're coaching somebody, you're like you have to stop and give them that sight go, Hey, can we just stop and look at this for a second?  And I think the minute that they realize how incredibly important that story is, they then feel... I don't know, it's almost feel like they've been gifted this opportunity to share this beautiful moment with the audience. And as soon as they feel that way, as opposed. Cause sometimes you, I know, you were just explaining it. There are speakers sometimes even if they're talking about a story that's from their life, you can tell, they're just like, Oh, I've told this story a hundred times, I'm being a news reporter right now. I'm not reliving this story I'm just retelling the story. And so I try to get people in that moment where they're reliving that. So I ask them questions like, Oh my gosh, how did you feel? I feel like with Seeamara, like how did you feel to be going across the border with two people you didn't know, and you're a kid? So just getting people in that space where they emotionally get back there that helps so much with bringing that wall down and then they want to share it because then you feel it you're like, Oh my gosh. I want to tell you, I remember how I felt. 

[00:24:32] Greg: [00:24:32] Oh, that's really, that's good. And I think individually coaching yourself. I try to get myself back in the original story state. Just the feeling part. So I am more vulnerable. And so it's funny that you would coach that way. That's really, that's nice to know. 

[00:24:49] One of the things that I think would be interesting just for, I know for me personally, what's the day in the life for you, what's a typical day like? I know it's, with travel and all kinds of things that you do, and I've seen you do some media stuff and tons of different things, but what's a typical day, maybe a typical week, like for you, what do you, what are you up to? 

[00:25:09] Cathey: [00:25:09] Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. There's nothing typical in this world, but if I were just a carve out like this week, for instance, a normal kind of week for me. People now, for some reason, all over the world, find out about me being a Ted coach and I get contacted. And so I'm, there's always somebody on my roster that I'm coaching for an international TEDx Talks somewhere. And so that's a normal thing in my life where I'm like, okay, can we meet? I can meet you at 10 o'clock my time. So I'm always trying to like, and then I'm in here with all my light turned to turn on every light that I have.

[00:25:42] Greg, I know you do this as well, so I appreciate the professionalism and anybody that does any kind of work, you sharpen your skills. I've been taking an online improv class. Online improv is fricking hard by the way. So hard. You're not in the same space with people, but I feel if you ever watch an improv show, what do they actually do?

[00:26:08] They practice practice, practice, practice, practice. Just to make it look like they didn't practice, right? Yeah. So a typical week for me, would we be coaching somebody? I do workshops right now. I'm doing a workshop for Sony in China. So again, I'm having to do these workshops later in the evening, I do workshops for Nike, Tillamook, companies here where I'm doing, you know,  now that we're all staying at home, what would once be like a half day workshop I'm now splitting into one or two or three sessions, as opposed to the one. I'm mentoring people. I'm going back to mentoring kids again, because I love that space. One of my friends, who's a speaker she just put on a summit called the Speak Lead Summit and it was all for kids. It was two weeks of the most amazing speakers in the world. I was so proud to be like part of this huge lineup of teaching kids. And so I was teaching kids how to communicate better. And then I have mastermind groups. So I have two international mastermind groups. And for anybody who doesn't know what that is, it's just a group of people that do something similar than you.

[00:27:14] So a lot of them are speakers, facilitators, coaches are creatives, and we just get together and talk about how we can make our businesses better. How we can help. 

[00:27:22] I donate a lot of time too. Big Brothers Big Sisters is my organization of choice. So I do a lot of pro bono work for them. So that's a typical... I like to give back as much as I'm putting out there too. 

[00:27:34] Greg: [00:27:34] Yeah. I noticed that about you early on, even starting that kids program for presentations. And I just thought, wow, that is good. I think it's interesting, in my work, I always think about like a Robin Hood approach, give back, but I try to do it quietly.

[00:27:48]Yeah. It's really cool that you take the time to figure out ways to give back in your day. And every time I've talked to you, like even now, or any time, I just notice the amount of energy you have. Where does that come from? You have so much energy. I love it. I just go, where is she getting all this energy?

[00:28:05] Cathey: [00:28:05] My mom, for sure. My mom is a hundred percent Italian and she is just this spitfire. If you think I have energy, my mom's like, she, she 10x's me no problem. And she's in her sixties and people are like, Are you like in your forties? And she just  goes. But I think too, Greg, I don't know for me, I get super excited about things I love, like anybody. And I love that, but I also like the same way that I think a talker presentation is giving an experience to somebody else, I like to experience life. So I've in the last couple of years as my business has grown, I've also tried to have that work life balance, although there's no, it's like a mythical creature.

[00:28:49]It's not real but to some extent of understanding that we have this beautiful job where I could be working on a beach on my laptop and then shut the laptop and then hang out and go visit waterfalls and, do fun things. So I try to make that balance and experience life while I'm still alive.

[00:29:08] Greg: [00:29:08] Yeah, that's really helpful to sort of think about that and have, as particularly the folks listening to this is just to figure out a way, I mean, your kind of dream shaping, right? That's when I think about Water the Bamboo it's like you got your bamboo and you're shaping that, but I like this idea of thinking about wellbeing.

[00:29:25]Because for me, a lot of times I start my day with kind of wellbeing routine. I ask myself, what's going I drink water, I get exercise, I do those things because as you say,  you're giving out a lot of energy. The question is, what gives you energy? I think about that. What gives you energy? 

[00:29:43] But one of the things that I wanted to challenge you on and just have you explain to the audience here a little bit is, it seems to me that you're making a passion play. Like you love helping people. You love the work you're doing. There's this sort of, this love in there, but then you're running a business.

[00:29:59]A lot of times I see people make passion plays, but they're not profitable. And you sort of alluded to this earlier about having some financial mentorship coaching, but I want you to address that because God forbid somebody listens to you talk, Oh, I want to do that and they don't have that sort of business balance. How did you get that? Talk to us a little bit about that idea. Yeah. 

[00:30:20] Cathey: [00:30:20] Yeah. My brother-in-law, he's from India, he met my sister at Ohio State University, the same sister that lived in New York. And he went on to MIT to get his MBA. So he is like by far the smartest person I know. And, when I was going to start my business, I remember everybody in my family was like Oh my gosh, Cathey, you're so great at marketing, you're a people person, people love you, you'll make great connections. And of course, my mom still doesn't know what I do to this day really, exactly, but she was excited and my, my sister was excited, my brother's excited. My brother-in-law gets on the phone and he's like, so how are you actually going to be a business and not just be self-employed? And I was like, what? 

[00:31:03] You know what, Greg, that question that he's so like nonchalant matter of fact about things like he's a loving, by the way , he's a really loving person, but when it comes to business stuff, he doesn't play.

[00:31:16] Like, He just he'll ask you a bold question and not care. That question has haunted me the whole time I've had my business. And so I feel like I've always been making these subtle, like I run towards the answer to that, and it's not a quick fix. And that's, I think sometimes too, the problem that a lot of people have when they start a business that's passion driven is, they'll do it for a year and go that didn't pan out.

[00:31:39]Yeah, Rome wasn't built in a day either. So you actually have to be committed to it and you have to go. And I saw the future when he said that I go, yep. He's right, right now I'm literally, if I stand on a stage, I have to be on the stage to get money. If I can't stand on a stage anymore, I'm not making money. I'm not really a business. He's right. I'm self-employed right. So how could I be a business? And then that's where that great question... And I think, Greg, I have quoted you so many times in the last couple of months, by the way,  cause I think the question of What's Going Well? is so good, and when a good question is asked you can't help, but to try to create great answer to it. 

[00:32:17] So having the people ask you the right questions, I think provides the right answers. 

[00:32:21]Greg: [00:32:21] You keep tying back to relationships. I think about that. A lot of people wouldn't listen to that question cause it's, counterintuitive, you know, you think about it.  The relationships are sort of helping you build your moxie, but also having the, those I mean, a Bamboo Circle, you know, having people ask you these hard questions as you go along that I think that is so important just in my own entrepreneurial journey. I just think back to some questions people have asked me, but one question I have for you is thinking back to maybe I'm thinking about my, my, my youngest daughter is what advice would you give your 16 year old self? Given all the things, you know, now what's like the nugget you wish you had known at 16 and really, it doesn't have to be one thing, it can be multiple things. What advice would you give yourself? 

[00:33:12] Cathey: [00:33:12] If I have your permission, cause I've already thought about this question so much, I will give it to my 19-year-old single mom self. How about that? I was a 19 year old single mom. And had you came up to me, Greg and said, someday, you're going to write books and help people and have your own business and have a fun, full, amazing life. I would have been like, you need to get out of my face right now.

[00:33:37] I'm just doing what I need to do. I think about this a lot too, because I deal with kids who, when I'm helping coach kids, I, as you know, like Zach King was one kid that I coached from when he was a kid and now look what he's doing. I don't think we just, everybody has this. It's an innate thing in us, we don't have the ability to see out of course. So I would tell them this. Tell me this, tell them this. I would say, I know you don't believe me and it's totally fine. You shouldn't believe me because this is, you are where you are, but I promise you one day things will get better. Things will also get worse. Things will get better. Things will get worse and things will get better. I'm not promising you this great future, but I'm telling you, there's no way that things are ever going to stay the same. In fact, I should remember this. Because when I was a 17 year old and I went to my very first gym, there's a quote I never forget. I saw it on the back of the shirts, and it said, there's no such thing as staying the same, you're either striving to get better or you're allowing yourself to get worse. So I would tell myself, are you either going to strive to get better or are you going to allow yourself to get worse?

[00:34:41] So that would be the advice I would give myself. 

[00:34:44] Greg: [00:34:44] Wow, I got goosebumps. That is beautiful.

[00:34:47]Cathey: [00:34:47] It's it's crazy. 

[00:34:51]Greg: [00:34:51] One of the things I think about with Water the Bamboo, is it takes years for giant timber bamboo to grow, and everyone wants to see it grow.

[00:34:58]That's such a Water the Bamboo story, you're 19 single mom and you watered you know, this amazing career, amazing life. And for me, the watering is the work, the process, if you will, and everyone wants the bamboo, but to really dig in and sort of water when it seems like there's no hope, right?

[00:35:19]Like how are we going to figure this out? It's  really cool. And it just brings to mind, this question I like to ask though, is this idea of, see, I hate pandas. I can't stand them.

[00:35:32] Cathey: [00:35:32] haha, Wow. that came out of nowhere!

[00:35:36] Greg: [00:35:36] Yeah, it's not popular, but pandas, they eat my bamboo. 

[00:35:38] Cathey: [00:35:38] Oh, gotcha. 

[00:35:39] Greg: [00:35:39] Yeah, because they're all kinds of flirts and distractions as you grow stuff like, it's really interesting. There are things that get people off their path. Like some people it's procrastination. It's not watering consistently. It's not whatever it is.

[00:35:53] If you sort of thought back in your life and even now, what kind of pandas show up for you? Like things that are like, I just call them flirts and distractions. Or what kinds of things do you see others getting distracted by. 

[00:36:06] Cathey: [00:36:06] Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh, we all have pandas. By the way. I didn't know that Pandas ate bamboo. I'm like, gosh, Greg, that's horrible. They're cute. They're fluffy. But yes. I can see the pandas in our lives. For me, they've been all the things that you mentioned. I think as a human, on some level, we all we share that human condition of struggling with some of the same things like, being in a state where you're unsure of yourself. That never goes away. If anybody ever tells you that they're totally lying to you and you go through spurts. You'll feel high and on top of the world, when you've given a keynote to 3000 people and you felt like it went good and the turnaround the next day, and feel like an idiot in your pajamas, and sitting in front of your computer, going not that important. And so there's this whole like going back and forth. I have, even though people see me as very driven, I struggle with procrastination all the time. Sometimes it's, I sometimes I'll put something aside. I'm like, I need to do this. I need to do this. I need to do this. I need to do this.

[00:37:01] I'm like, damn, I need to do this. And then I like light a fire under my butt and I do it. But I struggle with that stuff. And then I'm just somebody that gets hardcore with myself, cause I get so mad at myself, it's almost like I have these dual personalities fighting and I'm like, okay, I just want to relax and procrastinate.

[00:37:18] And then I'm like, okay, now I gotta stay up for four weeks straight and do the students do this? So yeah. I think you're onto the right track of just being aware of what your pandas are. And then just giving yourself a little bit of grace, just knowing that you're a human give yourself some grace.

[00:37:33]And then just try to like, I mean, if you were like, if you saw Panda eat in your bamboo, you wouldn't kill it. Right, Greg, I hope not. You would kindly like veer it into another direction. 

[00:37:43] Greg: [00:37:43] But I hate them, I'm getting them. There's 3000 left in the world, I'm trying to get them all. 

[00:37:48] Cathey: [00:37:48] Oh my God. I would try to move them in another direction. 

[00:37:52] Greg: [00:37:52] Kids hate when I say that, but I think that it's really, it's just an interesting thing. I like the way you described that, knowing what your pandas are and then figuring out a workaround with those. I think that's a really, that's really important advice. And then the other piece I thought was  really good is giving yourself some grace. That's really a big thing for me. I always say that, this is my first time in this moment. I've never done this moment before. Right here I am.

[00:38:19] Neither is anyone else.  One of the secret sentences in Water the Bamboo in the book I put was I believe in instant forgiveness. If you think about it, somebody will cut you off in traffic and you hold that and harbor that, and they're driving on, you take that home to your husband and you take that home to your wife.

[00:38:35]Why don't you forgive him before it happens? 

[00:38:37] Cathey: [00:38:37] Yeah. I love that. You know what I love about that too, Greg, and you, I don't even know if you know how brilliant you are in this space that when you take something as little as that, and you gave it a name. So you basically conceptualize that. And that's all that speaking well is , is like taking something that you do and making a concept out of it, making it something that now I'm going to be thinking all the time. If somebody cuts me off. First thing I'm going to think of is instant forgiveness. Instead of somebody just saying, Oh, you should forgive them.

[00:39:04] You don't know what kind of day they're having. We've all heard that, but there's a concept now that I can apply instant forgiveness. 

[00:39:11] Greg: [00:39:11] Yeah. That's, it's really, it's helpful. When I speak to audiences, I don't really share much with them, but I haven't used, or it hasn't helped me. I could sense that obviously from you.

[00:39:22] One question I have though, is this is an odd question. So listen to it carefully. Okay. What question would you ask yourself if you were me? 

[00:39:32] Cathey: [00:39:32] Oh, okay. I love that question. That's a great question. Speaking about great questions. I would say what's the thing that you feel like makes you unique? What makes you Cathey?

[00:39:47] Because that's always what I'm always trying to find another people. Go out there and be a hundred percent Greg, what makes Greg? And so I think that's something you should, that we should always be asking people. 

[00:39:57] Greg: [00:39:57] I'm going to ask you that question.

[00:40:00]Cathey: [00:40:00] I figured I figured you would. But it's still the question I would ask.

[00:40:05]Greg: [00:40:05] Answer that question for us. Would you, I'd be very curious to know what you thought about that. 

[00:40:09] Cathey: [00:40:09] I am unique in many ways. I've never had a sip of alcohol my entire life  ever. And so people think that's unique. It was partly because I saw a motivational speaker named David Toma speak when I was in high school in California, Southern California, he came and I just saw the way he talked about drugs and alcohol. And I saw the way he affected the whole school. They put garbage cans outside of the assembly hall and said, okay, Hey, no questions asked, just throw your drugs away. And people were like filling up garbage cans because of this guy.

[00:40:41] And he's got a whole interesting story, but funny enough, I would go on to be a speaker. So that's crazy. Like you never know what's going to be in you. I would say that I've also learned to just love who I am and just understand that I am who I am. I have the family that I have. I have the physical characteristics that I have. I have the crazy passion that I have just, and just loving who I am. It's what makes me and I do weird things. Like I love bridges. I'm walking 10 of the most amazing bridges in the world with 10 people I love before I die. So I set out these crazy challenges. And I've just grown to be like, if that's just me, that's what I do.

[00:41:20] There's about 40 people around the world right now that are doing a challenge I started called a million steps in 90 days, and there's people in Hong Kong and Australia and all over the world right now that are joining us on this. So that's just me. So I've really I've doubled down hard on that.

[00:41:35] And I think that anybody watching should do the same. What makes you, you? Go a hundred percent into that. Run hard into that be you. 

[00:41:43]Greg: [00:41:43] You are unreal. That is amazing. I love hearing that. I mean, I just got goosebumps, like way too many times on this podcast. 

[00:41:51] Cathey: [00:41:51] You might need to put a jacket on.

[00:41:53] Greg: [00:41:53] I know, but this idea of just sort of advocating, loving yourself who you are. I think that one of the things I tell audiences a lot of times is like, how can you tell a diamond, a real from a fake one? The real one has flaws. Yeah. Love your flaws and love it all, right? Yeah. When I think about loving yourself, like from that perspective, I also think about just women really, honestly, because I think sometimes we objectify women in our culture.

[00:42:20] And one of the things that is interesting is if you don't love your body and love who you are, it's really difficult to love anyone else. So talking about that is really just powerful. It just strikes me as well. I want to have you talk more about that if you don't mind, because I think it's such an important message for young women for all women.

[00:42:37] Can you address that? Just go a little bit deeper in that. 

[00:42:40] Cathey: [00:42:40] Oh God. We could do a whole another podcast on that. Yes I can. Absolutely. I grew up in LA. I don't know. I don't know if you know that, but talk about, very self-centric place. And, it's just a place that things are very blingy and very there's this perfect look that you have to achieve.

[00:43:00] And it's hard. It's hard to be a woman and it's hard to keep up in that space. And so at some point you have to look at yourself and you have to say, I'm not going to try. I mean, I had this thing one time, so here's a kind of off story, but it goes totally with this. I had this problem with the way that I swallowed and I couldn't like my tongue didn't hit the top of my roof.

[00:43:25] It hit the back of my teeth. And so it kept causing my teeth to shift and, Greg. I hated my teeth. So as an adult, for the third time, I went to see an orthodontist and I said, Can I get braces as an adult and fix my teeth and I really am a speaker, so I don't want to have them on the outside.

[00:43:45] I just felt really self-conscious about that. And by the way, I've never told this story out loud to anybody. So you're the first time very vulnerable. And so he did braces that were called linguistic braces. They were on the back of my teeth and I was like, Oh great. That'd be perfect. Well, when he put them on of course, I have a lot of stuff in my mouth and so I couldn't talk. Everything was like behind my teeth. I had to go see a speech therapist for six months, and then I also learned to swallow correctly. So now, like later, like I, this is three and a half years later, my teeth are fixed again, but it's now probably going to be permanent.

[00:44:19] And I took a look back and I actually asked myself this question. I said, did I go too far with that? Did I go through another procedure to, to like, cause some women are tempted to do things to their body and spend a lot of money and try to alter it. And then I came across something that I felt this is just me, I feel is a fair assessment or a question  to ask yourself. And I said this, I said If you have something that makes you feel horrible every single day, and you think about it constantly, then fix it. If it's something that will make you feel better than then do it. But if not, if it's just something every once in a while that you're like, I don't like that I'm short. Now my new name is mini horse because I'm shorter than everybody in my family. So just love and cling on to that. I think it takes a bold, brave move to just be able to look yourself in the mirror and just say, I love you. I love you for who you are, but the minute you do, you've broken every chain in your life because then nobody can tell you anything.

[00:45:22] A kid like murdered my self-confidence when he called me Medusa in third grade, my mom permed my hair and he made fun of me every day and call me Medusa. I never forgot it. I still know the guy. I don't think he knows that he called me that, but I never forgot it. So it's just that moment. I think you have to make peace with it.

[00:45:41] Greg: [00:45:41] Right. I think that's really important. But I think that I think words are important. I think a lot of, that sticks and stones will break my bones but your words are actually, punch me in the face. Words are super important. 

[00:45:53] One of the things that you just said that really resonated with me was this idea when you look in the mirror, love what you see. I really think it's really important for people to do that. When you look in the mirror, just love what you see, flaws and all. And even if you have to put on your mirror, I love you, whatever it is. I think it's just an important concept for people to leave with.

[00:46:16] One of the questions. I only got a couple more questions. I apologize for keeping you a little long here, but I just love the conversation. 

[00:46:23] One of the questions that you kind of alluded to it earlier, but my latest book What's Going Well?, it just sort of helps the personal and organizational piece here.

[00:46:31] But one of the questions I have for you is just to tell us what's going well for you. Give us a couple things that are going well. I mean, You've talked about a few things, but give us some specifics on a personal level or on a professional level, whatever you want. What's Going Well?

[00:46:46] Cathey: [00:46:46] Yeah, thanks. That's such a great question again. I love that. well What's Going Well?, let me start with the personal, I was supposed to get married in July, but of course that didn't happen because of COVID and we have this crazy idea we're going to get married at midnight on a bridge at a waterfall, that's so Cathey, right? It's so Cathey. Everybody's in, the whole family, crazy enough, is in, I thought people were going to be like, I am not going to a wedding at midnight near a waterfall. I'm not doing that, but everybody was so in. We decided to postpone it until next year because people couldn't travel. So we're excited to do it.

[00:47:21] And we kept the same date. So that's going really well. Like I'm super excited and I now have like a year. It was getting tight. I'm like, Oh my gosh, the planning is getting hard and COVID hit. And all this stuff happened. So that's going really well. 

[00:47:34] Professionally. I have a lot of great things. Like I said I'm starting to coach kids again.

[00:47:40] And so I'm excited because I, as you said, I started a group a long time ago when my kids were young, I started a group called Future Stars and it was a communication and leadership club. And I loved that. I got so much joy out of it. And my kids. it Hated it. Hated it, Hated it. Oh my gosh. I hated it so bad.

[00:47:58] I mean, I felt like a horrible parent. I was like dragging them to this thing every week. And at some point I was like, okay, you don't have to go anymore. But that was already like two years of them going. And now both independently, both of my kids have come back to me as, grown adults and said, I'm super grateful that I went through that.

[00:48:14] So it's another good parenting tip is if your kids hate something, just make them do it anyway. Depending on what it is. Yeah. 

[00:48:21] Keep them going right. That's great. 

[00:48:23] Greg: [00:48:23] Well, I appreciate that. Yeah. We got married near a waterfall too, so that's great. Not at midnight though. 

[00:48:28] Cathey: [00:48:28] That's awesome though what a great location. 

[00:48:31] Greg: [00:48:31] Yeah, I think that's awesome. 

[00:48:32] We're going to do, what's called the Water the Bamboo oath. And then I have one final question. Okay?

[00:48:37]  You're gonna raise your band hand. Pretend you have a band on, raise your band and repeat after me. 

[00:48:41] Cathey: [00:48:41] I got one here, so that's good. 

[00:48:43] Greg: [00:48:43] Repeat after me. No matter what challenges come my way.

[00:48:47] Cathey: [00:48:47] No matter what challenges come my way, 

[00:48:49] Greg: [00:48:49] I will.

[00:48:50] Cathey: [00:48:50] I will. 

[00:48:51] Greg: [00:48:51] Continue.

[00:48:52] Cathey: [00:48:52] Continue.

[00:48:53] Greg: [00:48:53] To Water the Bamboo.

[00:48:55] Cathey: [00:48:55] To Water the bamboo!

[00:48:58] Greg: [00:48:58] So my final question is my audience is just going to be so amazed to listen to your talk. How in the heck do we get ahold of you? How do they find you? 

[00:49:08] Cathey: [00:49:08] I have the most unique name in the whole world because it's Cathey Armillas. And so I've Spanish last name. So if you look up my name and you spell it right, you will find me everywhere, wherever you want. Everything is Cathey Armillas instagram, Cathey Armillas Facebook, Cathey Armillas LinkedIn, Cathey Armillas website, Cathey Armillas email address Cathey Armillas. 

[00:49:27] Greg: [00:49:27] Yeah, we'll put that in the show notes, but I like it you're number one in Google. 

[00:49:31] Cathey: [00:49:31] I'm number one in Google, if  you type in Cathey Armillas you will find no other Cathey Armillas other than me.

[00:49:36] Greg: [00:49:36] Yeah. Well, I just, I so appreciate your time here. If you have any final thoughts, we'd love to hear them, but just thank you so much for... 

[00:49:45] Cathey: [00:49:45] The only thing I would say to your audience is, keep Watering Your Bamboo. Like you  said, Greg , anything that you're watering now, you're going to see the effects later.

[00:49:53]So just have the faith that what you're doing now is going to pay off somewhere else. 

[00:49:58] Greg: [00:49:58] Thank you so much. 

[00:50:00] Cathey: [00:50:00] You're welcome, Greg, so great to spend some time and space with you. 

[00:50:04] Greg: [00:50:04] Yeah, you too. Thank you very much. Yeah, we'll talk soon. 

[00:50:08] Cathey: [00:50:08] Yeah. Awesome. 

[00:50:10] Greg: [00:50:10] Thank you so much, Cathey. It's so great to hear from you. The things that help make you successful as many others, and she hit on a really core principle of Water the Bamboo.

[00:50:20] That it takes lots of years, you've got to keep watering cause you don't get results immediately. So keep Watering Your Bamboo. It will happen. Thanks again, Cathey. And make sure you subscribe to this podcast and leave a review or suggestion. Until next time. I'm Greg Bell. Keep watering.